Notes From Keystone Freedom 2/15 - 3/17/2018

these are the notes I took while in rehab. Some of just shit people said I like, some are sayings from the programs, some are ideas, some are thoughts etc. When you write you have to think, when you think you have to feel. When you read you have to think, when you think you have to feel. What does addiction NOT want you to do?!?! FEEL!!! Stop kissing it's ass (Alcohol) Spare Time --> S&C, Track, Kaelie, Hiking, Being Outside, Sports How do I deal with this shit sober? FINE - Freaked Out (Fucked Up), Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional Humble - To be right sized Anonymity - There are no BIG I's or little u's M.Ed - is not WHO I am, it is WHAT I have How do we know when our disease is active? When we are self centered, self obsessed, have loose morals, decay in everything, isolation Knowing the consequences and still doing it I cannot think my way into good behavior/habits, I have to act my way into good thinking There is no such thing as "microwave recovery". There were no microwaves when Bill W and Dr. Bob created AA Cannot know a truth w/o challenging it Everything after 0 is a plus :) React Vs. Respond. They are different. Respond = more mature, planned and thought out. React - is an assholes knee jerk action You can admit shit, but until you accept it, nothing changes When the head and the heart work together you'll reach the rooms. When they continue to work together is when you stay in the rooms. Responsibility = the ability to respond Depression, Anxiety and Stress are the tools of addiction. Our tools are talking, thinking, writing, the rooms, fellowship, our literature. You're as sick as your secrets, but you live a secretive life?! If drinking is causing any problems to ANY compartment of your life, you have a problem. First year of recovery = the hardest It ain't about falling, it's about how you get up. If there is a devil, addiction is his right hand man. Intellect in sobriety will kill you. K.I.S.S Steps deflate ego, so that H.P can have space. Bad words = Just and Only. These words justify and protect your addiction. Thank God that I am 6 feet over instead of 6 feet under. Do we remember where we came from, or do we let the good times distract us. Good drunk stories VS. the bad. Learn how to live comfortable and sober. Step 4 and 5 - Where are you now?! As I stayed sober, jobs surprisingly got better and better. You can stop a day and restart it WHENEVER you want, as many times as you want. Life = Pond. If you throw poison in the water, it affects the entire pond, not just the area in which you threw it. AA Triangle - Unity, Service, Recovery. Mind, Body and Spirit. Program has 3 sides, 3 folds, have to work on all 3. G.O.D - Giving Out Directions Open you mouth to release pressure on the brain. Talk to shut your brain up. I did this to myself (Why you're here) Not only are we in recovery, we're survivors. There are people dying every minute from this. Keeping it Green = Keeping in fresh, keeping in present, reminder, keeping it in forefront of brain TRUE Alcoholics are like fucking unicorns. 2 years Clean = 5 meetings a week. 5 years Clean = 3 meetings a week. 10 years Clean = 2 meetings a week. Defects are an adjective. Shortcomings are a verb. Repeat it so you remember it, if you can't remember t, you can't practice it. Guilt is - I MADE a mistake. Shame is - I AM a mistake I am powerless over people, places and things. It is all still going to be there when you get out. SAD = Stress, Addition, Depression Hurt (ADJ.) People, Hurt (VERB) People. Why worry about tomorrow when today has enough trouble of it's own. Chew up the meat and spit out the bones. We don't listen to family, we listen to strangers, that is why we're called anonymous. Show me who you walk with and I'll show you who you are. Disease of separation. The more you get connected, the better you'll be. Step 1 - Honesty Step 2- Hope Step 3 - Care/Change Step 4 - Moral Step 5 - Humility A disease is... fatal, progressive and not a choice Learning is a continuous process, if we stop learning we die. D.E.N.I.A.L - Didn't Even No I Am Lying You cannot control addiction, but you can arrest it. Alcohol has gotten away with more murders. Alvin fell off the roof and died (Alvin died because he fell off the roof, Alvin died because he was drunk, thus alcohol killed Alvin.